Do champagne flutes come in camouflage?
American Enterprise Institute
Dear Dr. Kagan,
Congratulations. It looks like your Iraq War Plan won Our Leader's Need Something to Get Me Through the Next Two Years Sweepstakes. I think it's a very promising plan. If it's properly implemented, it should postpone the loss of Iraq until after the end of Our Leader's reign.
That said, I'm very worried that a key component of your plan, signing up enough recruits to make it work, may be unachievable. Too many of America's young working class men and women are shirking their duty to risk life and limb for the betterment of the Ownership Society. They refuse the honor of serving as the College Republicans' proxies in the greatest struggle our nation has ever faced. You understand this. That's why you are asking Our Leader to call on these wretched children to enlist when he delivers his speech tomorrow.
Unfortunately, I don't think The Chosen One's pleas will be enough. America's non-matriculated youth need more than mere words to motivate them. They need someone to lead them from the skateboard parks to the battlefield. Who better to do that than you?
You're young enough to serve, and Lord knows it's your plan, so you have a vested interest in being there to ensure it succeeds. I'm sure the American Enterprise Institute can get a long without you for a couple of years. Heck, I bet Mary Rosh would cover your AEI duties for you, if she not still too busy covering for John Lott.
I hope you'll consider it. It'd be great to see Our Leader end his speech by swearing you in.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
Note: Kagan is 36, according to the London Times (scroll way down).